Elon Musk’s Cybertruck Gives Zero F*cks

Elon Musk’s Cybertruck gives zero f*cks


“No one will buy that!” “I drew that design in kindergarten!”  “The bulletproof glass broke onstage!” “its so ugly!” “will truck guys like it?”  All of these parroted assessments completely miss the point and unfortunately get amplified by the small minded Chanos/Einhorn short groups, which is unfortunate.  Cybertruck is defining a completely new automobile segment even if you weren’t ready to see or understand it yet.

More than a few times when Tesla has announced something completely new i’ve said to myself something to the effect of, “I’m not sure about that”.  Two prime examples being, paying a $5k deposit online to buy the Model X years later without a test drive and the single screen in the model 3. All times I’ve ended up feeling I could never go back.  This time is no different. 

I’ve never been a truck guy and have never wanted a truck.  I’ve never seen the point. Spending a lot of extra money on gas to drive around something that is a pain to park and has a bunch of wasted space the majority of the time just seemed completely stupid.  How does that make a person feel manly or tough? But I can’t deny the auto industry marketing works - tons of people buy trucks that they dont really need everyday and dont care about the cost. Give me a Model X for the kids and road trips and a model 3 for everything else and i’m good.

I watched the Cybertruck unveil excited to see a new type of design, a new product to get rid of more old fashioned ICE cars, and new tech that might make it to the rest of the Tesla line up (other automakers have lost me as a customer forever, I will not bother with other brands).  It ended with me thinking the truck is a beast that will hands down outspec anything competitors produce, great pricing, and I kind of like the design. A few days later with some additional thought and I think I’m going to buy one. 

How did a guy who doesn’t like trucks end up planning on buying a truck?  The simple answer is, it’s not a truck as we know them, it’s a truck AND an SUV in one - an Armored Truck Utility Vehicle (ATUV). Why do i like having an SUV?  It provides space for kids, accessories and can be packed up for road trips. Cybertruck offers all 3 - seating for 6 (2 more than i need) and an automated truck bed cover (and hopefully the ability to fold down the back cab wall).  It’s a vehicle for people who actually want ruggedness and power. It rag dolled the F-150 in tug of war. Cybertruck was built to be parked outside in heavy rain, does anyone like to spend the time detailing a car, maybe hose it down when when there is too much offroad dirt.  Worry about door dings & rock cracks in the windshield, that’s cute. Go camping, it has the utility of a camper. Decide to really go camping completely out of range of superchargers, built in solar can give you a range boost. If some crazy sci-fi war breaks out proving survivalists right, this thing has you covered as its armored and probably will have bioweapon defense mode.  Then you get to the price, $40k base model and either $50k or $70k for ridiculous performance (adding another $7k for full self driving is a no brainer) It’s cheaper than anything that’s even close to comparable. 

Finally the design.  While it takes a little time to sink in due to how different it is to everything else.  It’s not trying to be a traditional, pretty, Brad Pitt type of design. It’s what the Rock would look like if he was a Transformer character.  Its a beat you down, wake up before you, out work you, protect you at any cost bodyguard type of a design. Once you understand that, the Cybertruck design is uniquely beautiful.  

You can’t hide behind the traditional truck marketing and say you need a tough truck and not buy Cybertruck.  Is a key aspect of buying a truck or SUV that you need others to think it was traditionally pretty right away?  We’ll see. I think the exoskeleton styling and design will eventually be copied after other automakers see both their pickup & SUV product sales get rocked in 2022, but looking at the industry’s speed of recognizing the demand for EVs and devising effective strategies so far it will probably be too little and way too late. 

Tesla has no apologies for how Cybertruck looks, you either want power, performance, extreme utility, and protection or you don’t.  Cybertruck gives zero f*cks!

One thought on “Elon Musk’s Cybertruck Gives Zero F*cks”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.